‘I Am Not Okay’ by Jelly Roll - Lyrics & Meaning

During the momentous Season 25 finale of The Voice USA, Jelly Roll took the stage in the Hollywood studio to debut a brand new track, the stirring, soul-baring ‘I Am Not Okay’. Jelly later confirmed it would be the lead single from his forthcoming record, with the full studio version arriving on streaming platforms on Wednesday, June 12th.

Despite its title and the melancholic, introspective ambience of the verses, the hook finds Jelly delivering one of his classic, gospel-driven odes to the prospect of a brighter future.

Less than a week before Jelly's ‘I Am Not Okay’ performance, the genre-blending maverick treated the ACM Awards crowd to a rousing performance of another unreleased track, ‘Liar’, which indicates the rollout for his next album is excitingly picking up pace.

The delicate, stripped-back instrumental allows Jelly Roll's distinctive, charismatic rasp and the gravitas of his vulnerable lyrics to take their rightful place at centre-stage.

‘I Am Not Okay’ carries an atmosphere of gentle melancholy throughout, with the unmistakable cry of steel and the pining electric guitar combining with the driving drums to accentuate the poignance of the track. However, as Jelly builds towards the quiet optimism of the hook, the accompaniment swells in force to mirror the brightening mood, before reaching a crescendo as he decrees, “I'm not okay, but it's all gonna be alright / It's not okay, but we're all gonna be alright”.

“I am not okay

I'm barely getting by

I'm losing track of days

I'm losing sleep at night”

Jelly Roll opens ‘I Am Not Okay’ with the titular lyric, as the Tennessee singer-songwriter reveals the struggles he's been facing in recent times. He describes a sense of aimlessness, with the days flying by in a haze and another restless night looming.

“I am not okay

I'm hanging on the rails

So if I say I'm fine, just know I learned to hide it away”

Jelly emphasises that he's doing his best to cling on to his purpose and direction, flipping the classic phrase of someone going “off the rails” to instead croon, “I'm hanging on the rails”. It therefore feels as though the protagonist is feeling closer and closer to a breakdown that'll send him into a spiral of destructive habits.

These lines are made all the more heartbreaking by the fact that, although Jelly Roll has made no secret of his past issues, he's known for being one of the most amiable, joyful characters in modern country music. Yet he shares that if he indeed seems “fine” on the outside, it's only because he's so used to hiding his true feelings.

“I know I can't be the only one, who's holding on for dear life

But I know God knows, when it's all said and done

I'm not okay, but it's all gonna be alright

It's not okay, but we're all gonna be alright”

Over the course of the hook, Jelly Roll opens up the song to address the listener, as he muses that he surely isn't the only one feeling this way. He then transitions into a more hopeful tone, as he concludes that, with God watching over him, even though he still feels down at the moment, things will work out for the best.

Again, Jelly Roll moves from the inward-looking line “I'm not okay, but it's all gonna be alright” to the more general, reassuring lyric directed towards his fans, “It's not okay, but we're all gonna be alright”. By underlining, “It's not okay”, he's ensuring they feel seen and that he's not glossing over their pain by offering a hollow mantra or a motivational quote, rather, he agrees things aren't the way they should be right now, but highlights that we must believe it'll get better in the future.

“I woke up today

I almost stayed in bed

I had the Devil on my back

And the voices in my head”

Jelly Roll returns to the underlying vein of the first verses, as he shares how, this morning, he found it hard to even find the strength and energy to get out of bed. He then blames the Devil for instilling these negative feelings in him, before referencing the disillusioning voices he hears in his head telling him he's not good enough.

The stark juxtaposition between the actions of the Devil here and the hope offered by God in the chorus lay the foundation for the spiritually-inspired climax of ‘I Am Not Okay’.

“Some days it all ain't bad

Some days it all gets worse

Some days I swear I'm better off

Laying in that dirt”

Jelly Roll movingly details how his headspace shifts from day to day, with some being worse than others, before referencing having suicidal thoughts as he wonders whether he'd be “better off / Laying in that dirt”. Thankfully, Jelly dismisses any such notion by the time the next chorus and the tear-jerking denouement arrives.

“I know one day, we'll see the other side

The pain will wash away, in a holy water tide

We all gonna be alright”

As ‘I Am Not Okay’ progresses towards the outro, Jelly Roll doubles-down on the positivity and spirituality he laces into the hook. He paints a visceral picture of the afterlife, during which the pain he's feeling is long-gone and washed away “in a holy water tide”. This clever infusion of baptism-inspired imagery consolidates Jelly's message about his faith bringing with it a new perspective and peace.

“I'm not okay, and that's alright”

Jelly flips the key lyric to convey his newfound acceptance of his current situation, as he casts his gaze towards at a more lustrous horizon, “I'm not okay, and that's alright”.

On the release date, Jelly Roll took to Instagram to highlight the uplifting message behind ’I Am Not Okay’, and to underline his hopes that it offers comfort to listeners, “For everyone going through something - it’s okay to not be okay, but its all gonna be alright!”

“I am not okay

I'm barely getting by

I'm losing track of days

I'm losing sleep at night

I am not okay

I'm hanging on the rails

So if I say I'm fine, just know I learned to hide it away

I know I can't be the only one, who's holding on for dear life

But I know God knows, when it's all said and done

I'm not okay, but it's all gonna be alright

It's not okay, but we're all gonna be alright

I woke up today

I almost stayed in bed

I had the Devil on my back

And the voices in my head

Some days it all ain't bad

Some days it all gets worse

Some days I swear I'm better off

Laying in that dirt

Well I know I can't be the only one

Who's holding on for dear life

But God knows I know when it's all said and done

I'm not okay, but it's all gonna be alright

It's not okay, but we're all gonna be alright

Gonna be alright

Gonna be alright

I know one day, we'll see the other side

The pain will wash away, in a holy water tide

We all gonna be alright

I know I can't be the only one

Who's holding on for dear life

But God knows I know when it's all said and done

I'm not okay, but it's all gonna be alright

We're not okay, but it's all gonna be alright

I'm not okay, and that's alright”

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