‘Alimony’ by Miranda Lambert - Lyrics & Meaning

After dropping a smattering of high-profile singles such as the vengeful ‘Wranglers’, the slow-burning ‘Dammit Randy’ and her stormy Twisters: The Album contribution, ‘Ain't in Kansas Anymore’, Miranda Lambert took to social media in mid-July to share a series of snippets of a playful new divorce-themed song, ‘Alimony’. The track will lead the rollout for Miranda Lambert's new record, Postcards From Texas, with ‘Alimony’ arriving on July 24 in tandem with the album announcement.

It's not the first divorce-themed track Miranda has unleashed, with the ‘Bluebird’ hitmaker penning ‘Got My Name Changed Back’ alongside her fellow Pistol Annies members, Angaleena Presley and Ashley Monroe, for the band's 2018 album, Interstate Gospel.

‘Alimony’ is a fun, facetious anthem that harks back to the levity and twinkle-in-her-eye ambience of hits such as ‘Tequila Does’ and ‘Somethin’ Bad’, with Miranda Lambert's commanding drawl coalescing with the jubilant twang of the accompanying electric guitars.

The way Miranda Lambert's stretches out the final syllables of the titular lyric injects an extra sense of swagger into the hook, with the entirety of the track pervaded by a classic Texas honky-tonk bounce that makes this a raucous addition to Miranda's setlist.

“Yeah, that '57 Cadillac

That mini-mansion in a cul-de-sac

That 15-gallon Stetson hat

That you wear all the time”

To lay the foundation for her punchline, the protagonist begins by reeling off a list of luxuries her partner currently enjoys that he can kiss goodbye should he ever decide to cheat. She cites his vintage 1957 Cadillac, their ‘mini-mansion’ in an upmarket part of town and his beloved, hefty Stetson cowboy hat as items that she'll gladly take off his hands should the time ever come for them to call it quits.

“And those real expensive rounds of golf

This diamond you're still payin' off

Just know as soon as you get caught

They'll all be good as mine”

The narrator extends her list to include her husband's pricey rounds of golf and the shimmering diamond engagement ring that he's still paying for, before delivering the warning shot that he can look forward to losing all of these if he gets caught cheating.

“And I called that lawyer up in Dallas

The one who's livin' in that palace

So I know he's good at winnin'

If you think there's something that you're missin’

And you start steppin' out

Only one thing can console me

If you're gonna leave me in San Antone

Well, remember the alimony”

The narrator paints a playful picture of the lawyer she'll be using to secure her alimony, underlining to her husband that he's incredibly wealthy - a sign of how he always wins his cases.

She reminds him that, if he feels as though he's missing something in their relationship and begins to pine for another lover, she'll of course be heartbroken, but comforted in the knowledge that she'll be getting sizeable alimony payments. The track pivots around a clever piece of wordplay, with Miranda phrasing the word ‘alimony’ in a way that makes it sound like ‘Alamo-nee’, a site in San Antone.

“If you like livin' at your mama's house

And drinkin' Milwaukee's Best on a hand-me-down couch

You're gonna love how this all works out

'Cause it all works out for me

What's mine is mine and what's yours is mine

So go on baby, have a real good time

I'll be countin' the dollars

You'll be rollin' the dimes

Freedom don't come free”

The protagonist then rubs salt into the wound by remarking how, if her husband enjoys living with his mother and drinking cheap Milwaukee's Best beer on an old couch, then he'll be more than content with how things will work out in the case of a divorce.

She offers up the killer line, “Yeah, what's mine is mine and what's yours is mine”, a play on the famous marriage adage, “What's mine is yours and what's yours is mine”.

The narrator even encourages him to go out and live it up, but to know that he'll end up broke in the process - because his freedom from the relationship sure won't be free.

“For richer not for poorer

Well, consider this your spoiler

If you think you can afford her

Well, you can't afford me too”

Here, the songwriters flips one of the age-old marriage vows, in which each partner promises to love one another “For richer or for poorer”, before teasingly remarking that - spoiler alert - the protagonist's husband will certainly fall into the latter category if he cheats.

He might think it's worth the messiness and financial pain of the break-up just to pursue a new love interest, but she assures him it won't be, providing another top-tier punchline, “If you think you can afford her / Well, you can't afford me too”.

“Well, you ain't gonna have a row to hoe

Go on and do your dog and pony show

If you're gonna be a dumbass

Honey, I hope you remember the alimony”

The narrator doubles-down on the core message of ‘Alimony’, emphasising to her husband that he won't have a ‘row to hoe’ if he's unfaithful, a phrase that means being in a tough spot. The ‘In His Arms’ crooner again stresses that the partner in this song is free to go and make a fool of himself with his ‘dog and pony show’ - another term for an over-staged, overly elaborate display, perhaps referring to his night-life antics - before capturing the essence of the song in the final lines, “If you're gonna be a dumbass / Honey, I hope you remember the alimony”.

When announcing her 2024 album, Postcards From Texas, Miranda Lambert fondly explained how her co-writer Shane McAnally came up with the name ‘Alimony’, “We were out in my barn; I was showing Shane and Natalie the horses, and I asked if he had any other titles. He said he had one, and I was like, ‘What is it? Because your last one was ‘Looking Back on Luckenbach,’ which I didn’t think you could top. He said, ‘Well, ‘If you’re gonna leave me in San Antone, remember the Alamo-neeeee…’’ Natalie and I were like, ‘Alright, Shane! Stop showing off’”.

Miranda recalled, “We went back to the house and got the guitars, and I specifically was like, ‘I want a shuffle, man.’ I love to shuffle so much, and this record needed a shuffle! I knew I wanted one in my set, because I haven't done one in a while – and everybody loves a shuffle”, before expanding, “My parents were private investigators in Dallas, Texas who worked a ton of divorce cases in highfalutin parts of town, so this wasn’t hard to write. I’d heard about it my whole life”.

She mused, “Once we had the line - If you’re gonna leave me in San Antone, remember the alimony - we were off! We used every Texas metaphor we could come up with on purpose; we wanted to take something kind of shitty and put some humor back in it. I mean, the guy gets out pretty easy if all he does is move back in with his mom”.

“Yeah, that '57 Cadillac

That mini-mansion in a cul-de-sac

That 15-gallon Stetson hat

That you wear all the time

-

And those real expensive rounds of golf

This diamond you're still payin' off

Just know as soon as you get caught

They'll all be good as mine

-

And I called that lawyer up in Dallas

The one who's livin' in that palace

So I know he's good at winnin'

If you think there's something that you're missin’

And you start steppin' out

Only one thing can console me

If you're gonna leave me in San Antone

Remember the alimony

-

If you like livin' at your mama's house

And drinkin' Milwaukee's Best on a hand-me-down couch

You're gonna love how this all works out

'Cause it all works out for me

What's mine is mine and what's yours is mine

So go on baby, have a real good time

I'll be countin' the dollars

You'll be rollin' the dimes

Freedom don't come free

-

‘Cause I called that lawyer up in Dallas

The one who's livin' in that palace

So I know he's good at winnin'

If you think there's something that you're missin’

And you start steppin' out

Only one thing can console me

If you're gonna leave me in San Antone

Remember the alimony

-

For richer not for poorer

Well, consider this your spoiler

If you think you can afford her

Well, you can't afford me too

-

So if you start steppin' out

Only one thing can console me

If you're gonna leave me in San Antone

Well, remember the alimony

-

Well, you ain't gonna have a row to hoe

Go on and do your dog and pony show

If you're gonna be a dumbass

Honey, I hope you remember the alimony”

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