‘To The Men That Love Women After Heartbreak’ by Kelsea Ballerini – Lyrics & Meaning

In the last two years, Kelsea Ballerini has been no holds barred when it comes to her music.

Following 2022's SUBJECT TO CHANGE, which started the metamorphosis from her signature upbeat, happy-go-lucky offerings to more honest and evocative musings, the Grammy-nominated hitmaker blew the door off its hinges with the surprise drop of Rolling Up The Welcome Mat (RUTWM) and its For Good expanded edition in 2023. Diving into the intricacies of her failed marriage to fellow country artist Morgan Evans and her experiences undergoing such a public divorce, the project felt like the turning of the page in her musical career.

While the next chapter has finally arrived with her new album, PATTERNS, the project includes a special bonus track titled, 'To The Men That Loved Women After Heartbreak,' that was first teased just shy of a year ago.

First teased on Thanksgiving of 2023, the Knoxville native debuted the poignantly vulnerable tune on the Grand Ole Opry stage last late November. Since then, not much has been said about the ballad, and fans were nearly up in arms when the song wasn't included on Ballerini's highly-anticipated fifth studio record, PATTERNS.

However, the singer-songwriter didn't make us wait too long, as she announced that 'To The Men That Loved Women After Heartbreak,' as well as a stripped back version of 'Two Things,' would be available as bonus tracks on the exclusive digital download version of the record. She also performed the moving ode to close out her sold-out, one-night-only show at New York's iconic Madison Square Garden on October 29, where she noted that the song was "about someone [she] love[s] very much."

As has been the case for the last handful of Ballerini's projects, the entirety of PATTERNS sees her serving as co-producer alongside beloved collaborator Alysa Vanderheym.

Knowing this, it's no surprise that the record as a whole straddles the lines of country and pop, almost taking on moniker that can best be described as "genre agnostic." Rather than being put in any singular box – whether it be country, pop, R&B or whatever else – the record borrow bits and pieces from across genres, becoming a musical melting pot full of bops, ballads, stripped-down serenades and everything in between.

In the case of ‘To The Men That Love Women After Heartbreak,' it takes shape as an acoustic, stripped down love song, dedicated to all of the men who step up for the women they love after they've been done wrong.

It's a simple song from a production standpoint, with Ballerini's compelling vocal delivery taking center stage, and it's a powerful listen nonetheless.

"To the men that love women after heartbreak
To the hellos that come after goodbyes
To the rain that was falling, but watered the gardens
And the ones that bring the flowers back to life"

Addressed almost like a letter to this subgroup of men who happily mend the broken hearts of women, the singer begins by explaining who these kinds of guys are.

These are the men that came along after women got their hearts smashed in two, the women who were cheated on, lied to, led on and everything in between. Somewhere along the way, though, these men were able to instill trust and love back into these women's hearts and brought their "flowers back to life."

"To the men that love women after heartbreak
To the tears they catch but didn't make them fall
To the strong and sturdy shoulders helping her get older
And the ones that get forever after all"

Noting all of the sadness and anger that these men underwent, even though they weren't the ones who caused it, the narrator explains that these men were the ones who helped show women that there's a right way to be loved and that they shouldn't settle for less that that.

These men, though their journeys have been difficult, picking up pieces that for things they didn't break, will more than likely get their happy ever after.

"It ain't fair and it's hard to understand
It ain't easy but you do it because you can
You don't see my heart as secondhand
And baby, that's why it takes a man
To love women after heartbreak"

Acknowledging that it isn't fair for these men and that it's a hard line to walk, the singer explains that not everyone is able to do what these men can. Not everyone has the patience, love and care needed for this long and arduous process.

What sets these men apart, she explains, is that they don't see these women as damaged goods. While it could be easy to just decide it's more work than it's worth to love these women, she underlines that "that's why it takes a man" and not just any guy that comes along.

"To the architect that's breaking down the house
The carpenter and painter
The all night renovator
Who's building her back up from the ground"

In the second verse, the narrator likens these men up to renovators and excavators, noting figures like architects, carpenters and painters.

Zooming out, it's clear that she views these men as capable of building something beautiful from the ashes, of taking something beat up and neglected and giving it a second life.

"To the man that loved this woman after heartbreak
Thank you for all you didn't have to do
When I met you, I was jaded, sad and complicated
You'll never know how much I needed you
No, you'll never know how much I needed you"

Now taking on a much more personal tone, Ballerini becomes the narrator as she refers to a certain man, her boyfriend Chase Stokes, that loved her after her own heartbreak two years ago.

Thanking him for all of his love, care and support over the last two years, she explains that before they met she was a completely different person and someone who maybe didn't believe in love anymore. In reality, all she needed to believe again was him.

In preparation for the highly-anticipated release of her fifth studio album, Ballerini teased and hinted at several things to come from PATTERNS and its now 17 tracks. However, as we mentioned earlier, ‘To The Men That Love Women After Heartbreak’ wasn't originally included in the collection.

Digging back all the way back to last November, Ballerini shared on the Opry stage that she had "just wrote this song. It's new, and I made the very impulsive decision to just put the chorus out on Thanksgiving.

"The reality is I've been singing about a chapter of my life that is far past me now and I'm writing about the chapter of my life that I'm in, and it looks very different and I wanted to share a bit of it now," she added before drawing attention to her two background singers for the performance, the song's co-writers Hillary Lindsey and Little Big Town's Karen Fairchild. "I couldn't not sing this song for the first time with two of the women I wrote it with, who happen to be two of the reasons that I am who I am as a songwriter and artist.”

Using PATTERNS as more or less a series of diary entries from the last few years of her life, she notes that within the collection fans will get to see a more raw and introspective starlet that they ever have before.

“I’ve always been an open book, but this is a different kind of deeper. Just like it was scary sharing all the details of a divorce, this is me, now. Yes, I’m in a very happy, almost two-year relationship; but it’s not all the perfect Instagram stuff you see posted. There’s family history, past relationships, all the things you bring with you, friendships, being there, not being there,
showing up, not knowing.

"I have a massive fear of abandonment, of failing, I’m hyper-sensitive. I want to cut and run when I’m thinking it’s going to fall apart. Those are all patterns," the 30-year-old award winner expressed in the album's biography.

To the men that love women after heartbreak
To the hellos that come after goodbyes
To the rain that was falling, but watered the gardens
And the ones that bring the flowers back to life

To the men that love women after heartbreak
To the tears they catch but didn't make them fall
To the strong and sturdy shoulders helping her get older
And the ones that get forever after all

It ain't fair and it's hard to understand
It ain't easy but you do it because you can
You don't see my heart as secondhand
And baby, that's why it takes a man
To love women after heartbreak

To the architect that's breaking down the house
The carpenter and painter
The all night renovator
Who's building her back up from the ground

It ain't fair and it's hard to understand
It ain't easy but you do it because you can
You don't see my heart as secondhand
And baby, that's why it takes a man

To the man that loved this woman after heartbreak
Thank you for all you didn't have to do
When I met you, I was jaded, sad and complicated
You'll never know how much I needed you
No, you'll never know how much I needed you

--

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