'Night Diving' by Max McNown – Lyrics & Meaning

The thing about a Max McNown song, it's bound to hit you right in the feels. Over the last year or so, the bloke-folk sensation has showered listeners with a wide array of singles, some of them achy, some exuberant but all of them able to shoot straight for the heart.

The title track to his sophomore album, Night Diving, is no different, the broody opus painting an exposing portrait of the young artist and offering an honest look at the things that keep him up at night.

Born from shadowy strings and the ominous rumble of a distant beat, 'Night Diving' sounds as moody as its desperate words. Aside from the occasional shudder of a kick drum and sting of sharp steel, the arrangement doesn't step too far outside of the gloom it's cast in. The composition is affecting, the sound a striking foil for the song's message to unfurl.

"I had a vision last night
Night Diving in Monterey
That water on my skin
It washed my shame away"

'Night Diving' is an uncomfortable exploration of the thoughts that haunt us in the middle of the night, the things we keep close to the chest in the daylight but those that tend to creep up when the darkness comes and we're all alone.

In McNown's case, it's some unnamed addiction that he can't shake. He envisions Pacific waters washing the pain and shame away, but he can still taste the poison on his tongue.

He sings of running into walls and from conversation that have become increasingly difficult to face. He's left to scream into the void, longing for the innocence that these unknown vices have stolen from him.

"And I’m tired of running from the conversations
Screaming in the silence all alone
And I miss the innocence that it has taken
Oh I’m frustrated
can’t take it
But I’ll fake it
Then I’ll hate myself again"

In the daylight, he's left to fake it – his happiness, his peace of mind – and, in the end, left to hate himself for putting on such a facade.

As he lies restlessly in the bed he made, he continues to have visions, a rotating cinema of cleansing waters and untethered horses, either dreaming of being washed clean or freed from the horrors that bind him.

It seems to be no use, though. The artist is consistently plagued by whatever is running through his mind, unable to forgive and relinquish himself from such agony.

"And I’m tired of running from the conversations
Screaming in the silence all alone
And I miss the innocence that it has taken
Oh I’m frustrated
I can’t take it
But I’ll fake it
Then I’ll hate myself again"

'Night Diving' is one of the more personal numbers among McNown's new collection of songs. The album's title track was born from a single question and moment of unguarded honesty in the writing room, the artist explaining, "We stepped into the writing room and [songwriter] Erin [McCarley] asked, ‘What’s something in your life that you keep fighting and can’t seem to overcome?’ ‘Night Diving’ became the answer to that question—it’s a song that addresses addiction in my own life, and I think it’ll resonate with people on a lot of different levels.”

More of that vulnerability is expected to shine through on the artist's new album, the project having come together with authenticity and empathy in mind.

“The whole time we were working on this album, I felt a perfect balance of freedom and comfortability with the process—it feels like the truest version of me, with no strings attached," the musician shared of the process. "In the past I haven’t always felt super-confident in the writing room, but this album really helped me to come into my own and be unapologetically myself with every creative choice we made.”

I had a vision last night
Night Diving in Monterey
That water on my skin
It washed my shame away

And I’ve been sipping on a poison
even on the days I taste it
Run into the same wall
All because I just can’t face it

And I’m tired of running from the conversations
Screaming in the silence all alone
And I miss the innocence that it has taken
Oh I’m frustrated
I can’t take it
But I’ll fake it
Then I’ll hate myself again

I had a vision last night
Horses on the granite plains
That sound of freedom stampeding
Why can’t I feel the same

And I’ve been sleeping wide awake
slow dancing ‘round the cracks in the floorboards
Fighting myself while lying in a
bed I made and can’t ignore

And I’m tired of running from the conversations
Screaming in the silence all alone
And I miss the innocence that it has taken
Oh I’m frustrated
I can’t take it
But I’ll fake it
Then I’ll hate myself again

I had a vision last night
Night Diving in Monterey
That water on my skin
It washed my shame away

And I’ve been sipping on a poison
even on the days I taste it
Run into the same wall
All because I just can’t face it

And I’m tired of running from the conversations
Screaming in the silence all alone
And I miss the innocence that it has taken
Oh I’m frustrated
I can’t take it
But I’ll fake it
Then I’ll hate myself again

I had a vision last night
Horses on the granite plains
That sound of freedom stampeding
Why can’t I feel the same

And I’ve been sleeping wide awake
slow dancing ‘round the cracks in the floorboards
Fighting myself while lying in a
bed I made and can’t ignore

And I’m tired of running from the conversations
Screaming in the silence all alone
And I miss the innocence that it has taken
Oh I’m frustrated
I can’t take it
But I’ll fake it
Then I’ll hate myself again

Ooh
Ooh

Oh I’m frustrated
I can’t take it
But I’ll fake it
Then I’ll hate myself
I’m bleeding I can’t breathe in
And I’m tearing at the seams
Oh I’m so scared that I won’t make it out
I’ll let you down
And I’ll hate myself again

Ooh
Ooh

Oh I’m frustrated
I can’t take it
But I’ll fake it
Then I’ll hate myself
I’m bleeding I can’t breathe in
And I’m tearing at the seams
Oh I’m so scared that I won’t make it out
I’ll let you down
And I’ll hate myself again

--

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